Any Day

I am term for my pregnancy and this time period is welcomed. She could literally decide to come any day or week. 

I have thought throughout most of the pregnancy that the baby is easier to take care of in verses out and there was no rush. I realize that people take care of multiple children all of the time but juggling two children seems a little busy to say the least. However, I have become anxious to meet her and look at her for the first time. In addition I am no longer comfortable in my pregnant body. I am fine during the day but I dread night time. I realize I am going to be up with the new baby frequently with feedings, crying, diaper changes, etc. but this welcomed compared to what is waking me up or keeping me from falling asleep. I have some "common discomforts of pregnancy" in addition to some other discomforts that will likely go away once she is out. Overtime they wear on you and although I am doing my best to manage them they have mentally taken their toll. Plus, when you get to the point you almost have to log roll out of bed or get a rolling start because it is to difficult to just sit up, it seems time to be done. I should reread this post in a month to help me during my sleep deprivation. With all of this in mind Charlie didn't come until 41 weeks so I could still have many long nights ahead of me. Her eviction notice has been served. In the meantime we are keeping busy.

Lunch Break at Hanging Rock State Park

Charlie loves his gymnastics

Baby Girls Bedroom

Installing the new gate with Dad

I feel fortunate to get to experience the difference of what it is like to prepare for a second child. It is humbling to realize preparation is good to an extent but having a little toddler keeping your mind and time occupied is a nice distraction from thinking and preparing for the baby every minute of every day. I also feel fortunate that I have one delivery under my belt (although with my career I of all people should trust childbirth); knowing that my body has already done this once and I survived is reassuring.

I am preparing to deliver in an out-of-hospital birth center this time. I knew what I was getting with Charlie's delivery and that allowed me to trust the people around me and just go in and have a baby, not fearing my environment or who was caring for me. I did not need a "birth plan". My plan was taken care of for me because I was fortunate to work and be a patient in a practice that trust in the birthing process. For being a hospital I truly believe that University of Colorado birth center has an environment that supports natural childbirth, this is a hard accomplishment for a hospital. I have been in other hospital settings were they make statements that they are the "baby hospital" of the area etc. The reality is they have extremely high c-section rates and their acknowledgment of skin-to-skin after delivery is the 5 seconds it takes the practitioner to cut the cord. I have chosen the birth center in North Carolina because I want people around us who also trust and believe in natural childbirth. I want minimal interventions but positive support. The water birth helped so much with Charlie's birth I want access to that as well. I would do anything to be taken care of by my friends and colleagues again but it's not in the cards. I am so thankful to Jessica, Krista, all of the midwives who gave me advice and support along the way and treated me like a person/patient and not a provider. I am so thankful to the wonderful nurses who allowed me to birth and trusted the process to create such a wonderful environment for Charlie to born into, Jane, Terry, Michelle, Jocelyn and Lindsey. Labor is labor, its hard, painful, raw, intimate, emotional and wonderful all at the same time. I can't believe the time is upon us again.

Being out of my comfort zone has been a good experience for me professionally. I have realized how difficult it is to trust people you don't know during one of the most important times in a family's life. When I delivered with my old job I had complete trust in my peers, friends and co-workers. As a provider I didn't understand and would get frustrated with a patient and family's hesitation and questioning of the care they received until now. I realize now how hard it is to put confidence and trust into complete strangers.

Anyway we are as ready for her as we will ever be. I am curious to experience Charlie's reaction to his new sister. Hopefully the next post will have a picture of her in it, if not be prepared for a post on the difficulties of going past your due date and how I think the "due day" should be changed to a "due month".

“A woman in birth is at once her most powerful, and most vulnerable. But any woman who has birthed unhindered understands that we are stronger than we know.” – Marcie Macari